You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
