And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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