remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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