I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
