Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
