So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
