I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
