Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
