I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
