the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
