does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
