capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize