Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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