I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
