i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
