Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
