I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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