i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
