Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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