I'm jealous of your bromance
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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