Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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