For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
