i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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