there's paper in my vomit.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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