i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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