I need to stop coming to work sober
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
