U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
