I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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