I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We are all done wearing pants today
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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