Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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