everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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