i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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