Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
