I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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