Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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