I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize