He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
