I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
