I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
