I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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