Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
