Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Congratulations! We have a period
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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