I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
