Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
