Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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