I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
