I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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