Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
