YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
