Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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