NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
