this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
