Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
