I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
