dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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