This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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