Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
