Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
