i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
