Cold hands, warm shart.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
sarcasm needs its own font
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Randomize
