I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
