You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
