Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
